Work life balance is one of the most overused phrases
of the last 10 years.
And what good has all the
talk done you?
If you’re
like most people,
your 9-5 turns
into a 9-9 more often
than not. You’re bringing work home on the weekends, missing time
with your children, and haven’t practiced your
hobby in years. Your waistline is expanding while your sense of well-being is shrinking.
When Stacy at Create a
Balance announced the Life Balance Group Writing Project, I was initially a little put off. I mean,
honestly, the whole work life balance thing has been talked (and written)
about to death. However, I kept thinking
about the idea and realized
why I’m so frustrated with the whole subject. I think most people are
approaching the idea all wrong…
Maybe my entire
problem with the concept of work life balance is one of definition. I decided
to turn to Google to help me find a definition that resonated with me. Here is just a small sampling of what I found.
·
Exert oneself by doing mental
or physical work for a purpose or out
of necessity
·
Have an effect
or outcome; often the one desired or expected
·
Proceed towards a goal or along a path or through an activity
·
Employment: the occupation for which you are paid
These are all functional definitions of the word “work”,
but none of them really
got at the heart of what I think
of when I see that word. Here’s
my definition:
Work = All the Stuff You (Think
You) Have to Do, But Don’t Want to Do
Most people
(including me) spend a lot of time doing things that they don’t want to do. We go to jobs that may be “okay”
but we aren’t passionate about.
We go to parties that
we don’t enjoy, talk to people that we don’t like, shop for clothes that
we don’t want to wear, and clean
things that we don’t want to use. Doing all of these things leaves precious little time for the fun stuff
that may look like work to someone else (knitting - I just don’t get it),
but that we enjoy so much we do it for free.
The current
status quo in the United States and other Western countries (but not France, God bless ‘em!) is to do lots of
work and to feel good about yourself because of it. Personally, I blame the Puritans for this and all other
social ills currently afflicting the U.S.,
but the source of the problem isn’t important. What matters is that we - the intelligent, tired, and bored people of
the world - find ways to circumvent this system and actually have time to enjoy our own lives. If others want to
keep on working away, I certainly won’t try
to stop them!
How to Work Less and Have More Life
Now that we’ve defined
the problem, the question becomes
one of execution. Given that we
all have certain constraints (like the need to eat on a daily basis), we can’t
just walk away from all work. But, as
far as I can tell, the only way to increase your work life balance is to spend less time working
(doing things you don’t like) and more time living (enjoying yourself and your friends/family). So, right now, I
want you to pull out a piece of paper and draw a line down
the middle of it. On one side, make a list of all the things that you do that you consider work. On
the other side, make a list of all the things that you consider life.
Just so we’re clear,
for the purposes
of this exercise work is always bad and life is always good. I know that reality isn’t
all neat like this, but humor me for a minute.
Because time is
a non-renewable resource,
if you want to do more
of one thing you have to stop doing
so much of another. That means
you’re going to have to find time
you can shift from the work column
over to the life column. I’ve been actively
engaged in this process for a couple of years now,
and here are a few lessons I’ve learned the hard way, so that you don’t have to.
1.
Quit Stuff. I know this
is hard and often frowned upon, but you really can quit obligations that are taking away your time and attention from things that you enjoy.
Resign from the PTA board,
stop showing up for that yoga class that gives you a backache, just say “No” to dinner parties. Quit anything that
makes you say “Ugh,” when you think about going.
2.
Don’t Go Above and Beyond. Don’t tell
your boss I said this, but it rarely pays
to be a top tier employee. Let’s say that your employer ties raises to performance. If you’re average you get a
2% raise and if you’re exceptional you get 5%. If you make $50,000
per year, being exceptional earns you $1500 (before taxes) more than your average colleague.
How many additional hours would you need
to work to get that $1500? If it’s just 15 minutes per day (and it’s probably a lot more than that!), you are working 60
hours per year - more than 1 extra week - for that money. Is it worth it?
3.
Find Someone Else to Do
Your Work. Not all work activities are job related. We all have tasks that are necessary to maintain life (most of these can be labeled
“chores”) but aren’t any fun. The good news is, other people do these
things in exchange for money or some
other item of value. So if you love to mow your lawn, but HATE scrubbing the bathtub, hire a cleaner.
(I’ve done this myself.) I know that you
have lots of reasons to avoid doing this. You think it’s expensive (it’s
cheaper than your fancy car payment).
You’ll feel guilty (yep, but you’ll get over it). Your mother will find out (she will, and she’ll get over it too). Trust me, the cost is well
1.
Sign Up and Pay Money. If
you really want to start an activity
that falls in the life column, the surest way to get going
is to sign yourself up for something that costs
money. This can be a class, contest, race, trip, or anything with a set deadline. Human psychology will force you
get the most out of your investment and
you’ll find ways to do the three tips above. The best part is, you’ll have fun doing it.
I know that we’re
all struggling to live more balanced lives.
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