While I waited for my senses to
surrender to sleep, I listened to the wind whispering through the trees outside my window.
I felt connected. Complete.
I drifted off to sleep
while other senses
were awakened.
The wind was the last thing
I remembered before
waking from a dream. In this
dream I was dressed in army fatigues and being held prisoner. I was
not alone and eventually helped the other person to escape.
I awoke
from the dream slowly, still
looking through the eyes of that person
who had remained behind. Interestingly that person no longer
felt like a prisoner.
I had this dream
while preparing to write this article and feeling the frustration of writer’s block. How could I write about living a balanced
life when I was struggling with it myself?
Nothing I wrote felt right.
I had become so attached
to the outcome of the article
I wasn’t letting the creativity flow. I was disconnected. What was
interesting about this dream was my
interpretation. The person
who had been set free was
my creative muse.
My thoughts
returned to the connection I had felt while listening to the wind. I knew there was an answer there. Memories of
other times I felt connected swam through my
mind and I relaxed into knowing what living a balanced life meant to me.
Seeing a shooting star.
Catching a snowflake. Watching the sunrise
on a misty morning. Admiring a rainbow. Smelling the new cherry blossoms in springtime.
These are things that fill me up. They are without
expectation. And because I am not attached to the outcome I can be
more fully in the moment. Nature does that for
me. It wakes me up. It inspires that feeling of being connected. When I feel connected
I also feel balanced.
We have become
separated from the natural flow of life in an effort to control it. Calendars and schedules attempt to balance
our daily activities, yet we still run in circles seemingly getting nowhere. We have created
this world and yet it controls us.
We are out of rhythm and less flexible
because we depend
on these schedules to tell us where
to be and when.
Life has a schedule
of its own and it unfolds as we are trying
to fold it up, throw it into a briefcase
and run for the next subway train. We don’t even see where we’re running because
subconsciously we’ve already
reached our destination.
Because we have
become so disconnected with our natural rhythm we feel unfulfilled. This brings an unconscious desire to
fill a void. And fill it we do – with things. But it’s never enough is it?
Trouble is, the more things we collect the more complicated our lives become
and the more out of control we feel.
It is a never-ending cycle.
You can stop the cycle.
Here are five suggestions.
1. Feel your connection: Balance is
achieved through connection. What are you doing when you feel connected? See it in your mind and remember how
it feels. When you feel out of
control, revisiting this feeling can stop you from living ahead of yourself. It brings you back into the moment. When you
are in the moment you are less likely to be
distracted.
2. Honour your values: When you know what your ultimate
goal is (the big picture), hold it in your intent but don’t become
attached to it. Working with values gives
a person the ability to make more powerful and appropriate
choices about how to reach
their goal.
Finding rhythm
in attaining a goal comes through knowing that each step is connected to the other; like a dance. They’re not
separate actions to be scheduled in a specific
order. They naturally
support and feed each other with little
effort. One clue that you are not honouring your values is through your
internal dialogue. See #3.
3. Choose your dialogue: Be aware of how you talk and think. What words are you choosing? When you say, “I should” or “I have to” you are putting pressure on yourself. Or, perhaps what you are trying to accomplish is not of value to you and you shouldn’t
waste your time
on it. If it is important, choose more empowering words such as “I want to” or “I will”. They’re less likely
to cause resistance to action.
1. Practice meditation: Simply put, meditation encourages
clarity. We aren’t scattered because there are too many distractions. It’s because we are not focused that we notice
the distractions. When a person is not focused they are more vulnerable
to outside influences. Responding to
people and circumstances takes a back seat, while reacting takes the front.
2. Focus on
fulfillment: Fulfillment surrenders to balance. As I mentioned earlier,
when we are not feeling
fulfilled we unconsciously try to fill a void with things
we believe will fill us up. When a life is built on false
beliefs any perceived balance is fragile and short- lived. I’ve had days where my life seems as organized as it can
be, but find myself feeling restless.
Something is missing. Things appear to be balanced, but I’m not fulfilled.
One thing to
remember. If you’ve ever tried to stand on one leg you’ve noticed that balance
fluctuates. That means if you aren’t flexible
you’ll end up a prisoner
of your own controlled
efforts.
Wake up to your senses and they will lead you to
the fulfillment that designs a balanced life.
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