Following the Path…One Step at a Time — By Jean, Stress to Power

 

Our lives are frittered away in details. Simplify. Simplify.

—Henry David Thoreau

 

 

People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life. I don’t think that’s what we’re really seeking. I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the physical plane will have resonances within our own innermost being and reality….

—Joseph Campbell in The Power Myth

 

I’ve always had a lot of inner drive, but I’ve never been achievement oriented…except when I was a kid, when I wanted to do well in school. I hear a lot these days about how hectic life can be as we try to juggle all the demands makes of us. I’ve never had that problem as an adult. I’ve always agreed with Thoreau: “Simplify. Simplify.”

Some people seem to think that would mean accepting an impoverished life. On the contrary. It means having the time and attention to appreciate what we have, to be able to do what’s truly important to us. (See Living Every, Every Minute.) For me it sometimes meant doing things that society doesn’t admire, like taking ten years out to raise a child…doing some volunteering, working together (including my husband) on family projects and just “hanging out” and enjoying my daughter while she was still young.

At other times it meant doing things that are more officially exciting and honored by our culture…see Building a Solid Foundation and Making Hay While the Sun Shines. What worked for me was to enjoy each period of my life as it came and not try to do everything at once. 

I learned about the joy of simplifying when I was in grammar school. My sister and I were taking dancing lessons, and sometime in early December we had a recital. I don’t remember much about it, except that because it was so close to Christmas the organizers treated us by allowing us to go through a line with a long table full of toys.

We could choose anything we wanted. My sister and I chose carefully and each decided we wanted one of the balls. As we were leaving we saw other kids with armloads of goodies…it turns out we didn’t have to choose just one thing, we could have had as much as our arms could have carried. At first we felt foolish and wanted to go back and try again, but then we decided that’s not what we really wanted. We really wished the rule had been what we had assumed, that we could each pick only one thing. If we had a huge pile of toys then none of them would have been special.

No, I’ve never been tempted by the idea that the more we do and the more we have the happier we will be. As I’ve said, I do have an inner drive, so when my husband and I got back from our 15 months in Europe and traveling around the world (again see Building a Solid Foundation) it was time for me to figure out what I wanted to do next. The usual advice of envisioning your ideal future and setting goals to achieve it didn’t work for me. I just wanted to live deeply and find work that I loved to do. I wanted to enjoy the process of living, and that was something I couldn’t envision. I finally realized it wasn’t something I could see, it was something I had to feel. Maybe I couldn’t see around the next corner, but I could tell when I was on the right path. I still remember where I was standing when I realized that. It was another life-changing moment. I suddenly had an inner gyroscope…I was free to explore without worrying about becoming lost.

I don’t always consciously know where I’m going, but my inner path is there and I can tune into it. The important thing is taking this approach means there is no rush, there is no frustration about not moving fast enough to meet external goals. All I have to do is follow the path, one step at a time.

 

Balance, in terms of juggling priorities, is seldom a problem for me now. If I find myself having conflicting priorities, I step back and simplify my life so I can focus on what’s most important. It goes back to the Traits of Stress-Hardy, Resilient People:

They realize that the quality of our lives depends on how we focus our energy and our attention. They try to align their thoughts and actions with their values. They know how to motivate themselves to take action.

 

I don’t know if this approach would work for everyone. I enjoy working and don’t have trouble motivating myself, assuming it’s something I want to do. And because we’ve kept our lives simple and have always lived beneath our means, my husband and I have a lot of financial freedom. It works for us.

What About You? Is your life in balance? Are you trying to do too much? Do you need more challenges? Do you have an inner path that you’re tuned into? What works for you?