Life Balance and Stress — By Rob McPhillips, Life Without Conflict

 

Every now and then I start to read a book or go looking around the web to see what other people are writing about. When I do this I often start a rant and I have a post or two pretty much written.

Anyway while I was looking about I came across a post about Life Balance. It turned out that it was a series of different people sharing their views on leading a balanced Life.

Now this is a topic that I have long held strong views on. Many people feel they need life balance to reduce stress. So I thought I’d join in and share my opinion.

Back a few years ago I looked into Coaching and lurked in a few online Communities. One of the things that I disliked about that field was the lack of original thought. They were always banging on about being noticed and respected as a profession. They wanted to be respected to overcome their own doubts and validate their work. They had this new idea that could be developed in a hundred different ways and instead they wanted to be taught the ‘one right way’.

One of the ways this was exhibited was that obviously in their training they were taught something called the wheel of life.

You might have come across it. Basically they divide life up into compartments, work, family, health etc and rate each area. The idea is that if you’re 3 in finances and a 9 in relationships you need to focus on improving your financial situation.

You can see the logic in it, can’t you?

 

In some ways it’s a great tool to quickly scan your life. But problems always come when people elevate tools, technology, processes and organizations to a higher status than people. Life is about people. The rest of it only exists to serve people.

I agree that balance is essential. In life we need to exert ourselves and we need to relax. We need to succeed and we need to fail. We need to inhale and we need to exhale. There is a yin and a yang. A rhythm to life, just as there is a rhythm to walking.

But the problem comes from the assumption that we understand the technical details of all the aspects you need in your life.

I can’t be certain, but I’m pretty sure Jesus never sat down with a wheel of life despairing the imbalance between what he lived and what someone else said should be in his life. You can just imagine him gathering the Disciples together and saying;

‘Listen, I think we’ve overdone it a bit on the God’s plan thing. All well and good, but we need a few women and children to bring us into balance. And we need to get ourselves some hobbies. Maybe go bowling.’

I shouldn’t think Buddha sat under the Bodhi tree regretting his broken marriage and lack of finances. Yet he did come to balance.

First he rejected his privileged upbringing and took up extreme poverty. But he realized that you don’t get spiritual wealth, just because you reject material wealth. He came to realize that the middle way, balance was the path to enlightenment.

You see balance is essential to life. Just as walking is a feat of balance.

 

But you don’t get to walk with perfect balance by researching books and trying to put 60% balance on your right foot, then shifting 15% this way, do you?

You learned to walk by feeling your way into balance. Gradually you became aware of your centre of gravity without even realizing what it was. Just an internal sense that you needed to shift weight to one side.

People with great balance, like Sports stars have a refined awareness of their centre of gravity. They know when they’re out of balance before the effects show up in their actions. So they correct it quickly before it harms them.

When you actually analyze walking, as some people have, it’s really controlled falling. 90% of the time you are out of control. But what stops you falling is the ability to 

quickly recover and bring yourself back into balance.  And that’s true of every natural occurrence. Nothing living is ever perfectly controlled.

Life is chaos. Just as it seems we’re about to fall, about to destroy the planet, about to go into financial meltdown we find our centre of gravity and steer ourselves back to safety.

You cannot ever eliminate stress, but you can get so good at dealing with stress that it never grips you enough to harm you.

We live for the thrill of living, not for the safety and security and long slow death of technical perfection. We are Artists of living a rollercoaster Life. We only want balance when we have gotten too far out of whack and we hurt.

So let’s bring this ramble to a conclusion that makes some sense to someone who feels that they need balance.

The balance that you seek is not one of technical details or mathematical equations. The balance comes from an inner awareness, an inner guidance that leads you to the joy and bliss that we all seek to experience.

Balance is something that we need, but the wheel of life approach looks at it from a perspective that will not bring it. It is a slightly more complex step from the idea that money brings happiness. Instead adding in other elements such as relationships, career and health.

The truth is no possession or quality will bring you happiness. You can only be happy, by being you.

And so the more fully you, you are, the more you will express that in every area of your life.

You see, you are the central theme, the grand idea that connects all the compartments of your life together. Each of us is designed uniquely. Some don’t have any need for family. Others have little need for work. Or for money. Or whatever. Just find your 

emotional centre of gravity and use your awareness to continually bring it back into balance.